Battle for Gaming

Disclaimer:
- Be aware of satire and irony in the product description as well as in the game****
- Everything - without exception - can only and exclusively be acquired in-game. It is and never will be possible to buy items in-game (including Lootboxes, power-ups, etc). This is a pinky finger promise
- No identification with actual persons or companies (living or deceased) or products is intended or should be inferred
- For persons and companies with high sympathy for Lootboxes and/or other scammy monetization schemes this product may not be suitable. In this case, parental guidance is strongly advised.
Description:
This is the newest first-person shooter game you and your friends have to play (please bring your mum's credit card*). With this one time price, you not only get full access to our shop, our Lootboxes, our DLC management system and our Live Services, but you also get the base game! But no worries, all in-game purchases are just there for player choices and are only cosmetic in nature**. We want that the player feels pride and accomplishment from getting upgrades through DLCs, Lootboxes and Live Services.
Why we put all of that additional monetization into a full priced game*** in the first place you may ask? Good that you ask, our PR department has already prepared the perfect answer: All that additional monetization is totally necessary for this day and age, because of the immense and constant rising costs of video game development. Look no further than this game: Even though a lot of the tools used to create this game are open source and that one developer working for us develops this game out of his parents basement, the cost for the steady flow of soda pops and coffee, that this single developer gets instead of an actual wage, justifies - in our eyes - the urgent need for all the additional monetization schemes. Because all those soda pops and cups of coffee will not pay for themselves, will they?
So jump right in, into the world of uncountable DLC fragments, Lootboxes and Live Services, to give us all the money in this world.
Features:
- Shoot hostile Lootboxes in the face. But be aware, they might shoot back
- Upgrade your character through DLC fragments, Lootboxes and Live Services
- Earn "Different Currencies" (DCs - the in-game currency) through kill combos and melee attacks
- Every dollar spent on this game is guaranteed a dollar NOT spent on an actual Lootbox or other Live Service
* Your father's credit card is also OK!
** Except a few, very rare and totally-not-pay-to-win upgrades for the whales out there (things like movement speed, damage, dual weapon wield and so on)
*** Full priced in the sense of that the price tag is not empty.
**** Legal disclaimer and Features are mostly free of satire and irony