Goat Simulator

Goat Simulator – A Masterpiece of Sheer Chaos and Bleating Brilliance

I bought this when I was younger, the summer between middle and high school. I know now that I didn't have a concept that I could learn things for myself; I didn't even have a true appreciation of what it means or what it takes to learn something, the need for rote repetition and to put in the time until it becomes second nature. I was ignorant to my ignorance, as is the case with every human being ever when they reflect on their past. So instead of learning about what upper level math looks like, instead of reading, instead of practicing piano, instead of drawing, instead of hanging out with my friends, instead of learning about world history or current events, instead of learning how my Windows laptop actually stores files and works (I was saving nearly everything to my OneDrive until somewhat recently), instead of sitting outside with my dog and listening to music, I bought this game on sale and wasted an hour of my life. Now it just sits in my Steam library untouched.
Few games these days are worth your time. This is not one of those worthwhile games.

It IS fun, but the second game is better and this game should have multiplayer.

Just a silly, stupid, but incredibly fun game. just love going into places and wrecking them up. The base game is really good. Lots of achievements to get to keep you busy for a while, plus lots of chaos to cause. As for the DLC's I would definitely recommend Waste of Space as it has lots of great content. GoatZ is OK, probably better if you are into games like Skyrim and the Witcher, PayDay is not very interesting. But the GOATY pack is probably the best way to go.

This game made laugh so much. Just goofy and full of jokes. If I could play this for the first time again, without a doubt, I would.

I recommend. Although this game might not be free, its worth the price, and even more if its on sale. If you REALLY want a bang for your buck, check out goat simulator 3 or goat simulator remastered. they are truly fun.

To anybody who dislikes this game: A goat is coming for you when you least expect it. AWESOME GAME COFFEE STAIN!!

Probably not the best use of your money, but worth it if its on sale and you know what you're getting.

I like licking people and then headbutting exploding things

This game is so deep. You can have so much fun with a lot of references to different games, movies and more.

I loved this game growing up but honestly if your buying this version you just want to either support the game or because you miss it the console version is better in fps and just features i hate having to go to the menu and switch myself back to normal there should be a mutator menu like in goat sim 3 and also theres no Halloween level no school level and they did fix this in the remake or remaster so honestly just get the remastered it might be 30$ but it does have a bit more and honestly just better than this but overall besides the kinda noticeable cons this game is a 7/10

In real life, i wish i was also a goat. This is because goats have 4 legs. I have 2. Both of my legs are broken. If i was a goat, i might have still had 2 legs to spare, possibly letting me walk regardless of being ran over. Sadly, this is not how life turned out for me. My legs are irreversibly damaged, to the point where i cannot walk, and i am not a goat. Sad. :(

if your crazy, then this is the game for you! cause mass chaos around goat simulator and get different power ups for your goat to cause big havoc in the 2 city's in goat simulator. 10/10 would recommend

I would honestly recommend the console versions or the remaster, you can't change your mutators mid-game or combine them in this version.

Finally got around to playing this piece of art and let me just say that it's f***ing amazing. It is exactly my sense of humor as I love penguins, goats, ducks, rabbits, seals, and every funny animal under the sun. I like that the physics are sort of based on how I (a portly white man in his early forties) experience the physics of the real world. I think if they made a sequel the only thing I'd want more of is everything. It was also very progressive of the game to allow you to marry the goats and print out official marriage licenses from your desktop or pc. That extra level of immersion goes a long way for dudes like me. If I had to pick out one goat to marry in the real world it would be Donhauntus, the goat from my extended family farm. He had these weirdly human eyes and when I would cry to him in the silo I swear he was listening to my human words. Put him in the game now

This game is chaotic as heck and I love it, the animations the add-ons everything I really love how that one npc just gets stuck ridding you thinking you're the bull you knocked over, I'd recommend you play it and you should get it when it's on sale for $1.99 here in the united states :)

this game helped me over come all my issues.. ... ,m I dont even know how it happened, i was playing for like 30 minutes then i become a billionaire who could bench 300LBs and with a wife and kids who love me very much.

and i was like "Bro what the fuck" but then i realized i like being a billionaire who can bench 300LBs and with a wife and kids who love me. so i decided I wouldn't question it any further and i instead began to thank god for creating the coffee stain team.

out of all the games i've played in my short time on this earth i can whole heartedly say that this game will remain as the best, most beautiful game i have EVER played for all of eternity.

call of duty? NO! half-life 2? NO! garry's mod? NO, NO, NO!

i love goat simulator with all of my being, i will forever remember this game and the immense happiness it has brought me from now to back when i was a little goblin that played on console.

It's extremely funny. Like, you can break the game so terribly, that it's hard not to laugh. Thank you, Coffee Stain. Hilarious.

fun game except the waste of space DLC, that DLC was trash af especially those missions where u had to shoot some pirates with the spaceship. took hours to get the achievements. so many bugs, crashes and lag.fps was capped to 63 fps.

i'd recommend buying the GOAT SIMULATOR REMASTERED. unluckily i bought this game months before the remastered came out and just started playing this month.

conclusion: the game is really fun except the waste of space DLC. the bugs, crashes and lag made it worse.

This game is... something else.
It's gem from 10 years ago, mostly gaining fame thanks to big youtubers playing it, like most other games out there. But what made it fun was not innovative gameplay or graphics that could melt your CPU and GPU at the same time: it was its jankiness, its randomness and, most importantly, its CHAOS.
Start a game, headbutt someone, enter a house, completely wreck it, jump out the window, do a frontflip and land on your feet, then headbutt a gas pump and see everything explode! That's what makes the game so simple and fun; you do what you want in this sandbox full of items, mutations and explosives.
Of course, as some games in 2014 did, there are collectibles. They are mostly easy to find, however, some do require a walkthrough if you don't want to spend hours searching a floating golden goat in a transmission tower (yes, those giant metal things with wires. Try using the fans). They do reward you with some new mutations, so it's not so bad.
The DLCs can either be the most fun you've had in a while or completely bugged/unbalanced:
MMO has to be my favorite. It adds an inventory that works wonderfully, and I'm suprised that the devs didn't add it to the next DLCs considering how useful it is. Although I don't remember that many references while playing, the quests were fun to do and the map was huge and full of surprises!
GoatZ has an interesting style of gameplay, however, it was either made to be infuriating and difficult, or they just wanted to make fun of DayZ and not put much effort into actually making it fun to play. I'd say adding the MMO inventory to it by default would make the gameplay way better.
PAYDAY is a collab and lets you cycle between 4 characters while doing heists (in the jankiest way possible) while making a little bit of fun of Payday 2. The heists were fun, the characters all had their own power and the chaos was still there; overall, very good! And what did Overkill Software do? They made a whole heist focusing on rescuing goats that were full of cocaine in the middle of a city. Great collab.
Waste of Space was my worst experience. Not because it was bad, the map was the biggest one yet and using a spaceship to navigate it, while also making Portal and Star Wars references, was a blast. The problem I had was it actually loading; the only way to make it work was to reset my progress, and as of writing, no patch was released to fix it. Hope the remaster makes it work.
Overall, the game has its ups and downs, but the chaos is worth it.

Now, for the achievements:

Easter eggs, references from other games and movies and a few challenges that require you to use the mutations you unlock; but The Flapmaster, SteamWorld Goat, all GoatZ achievements and a few Waste of Space will be a pain to get.
I'd recommend you train Flappy Goat; use a glitch to get to the bottom of SteamWorld Goat; use the Godmode mutation in GoatZ (don't try to survive without it, you'll regret it) or do most of the achievements before starting the outbreak; and to those that want to 100% Waste of Space: do it all in one sitting, avoiding crashes, because if you try to enter it again, you'll crash on pressing Play.
I've found out that changing the text in CurrentGame.ini in the files (Steam>steamapps>common>GoatSimulator) to MMO makes some player actions not work (like summoning the hoverbike or opening the menu), but allows you to bypass the crash and let you continue playing. Just don't open the map too much through the pause menu.

Collectibles:
30 in Goatville;
30 in Goat City Bay;
20 in MMO;
32 in GoatZ (painful);
20 in Payday;
30 in Waste of Space.
162 in Total, good luck!

Best game ever made. This game cured my long-lasting depression. I recommend.

-Play game
-presses 1
-baaaa
-keep baaa-ing
-best game

playing as a goat has never been more fun so id say its pretty good

amazing mods I have been playing goat sim on my xbox for soo long and I saw that pc has mods so I got it for me and my bro we love it

I loved this game when I was playing on the PS5. I got it on PC because modding sounded fun. turns out the mutator is just gone, so cant swap goats in game.

This game needs no introduction. It's Goat Simulator!

That was an excerpt from a now deleted article by Polygon in which they give this game a raving review and call it, and I quote, "The wackiest game to be released this decade!" I just made all that up, but you believed it probably.

I bought this because I saw it's on sale for 2 dollars and because it's part of my childhood and it ended up not being good like I remember it. I don't remember Goat Simulator looking very low res or having bad lighting and shadows, what I do remember is playing the game and having hours of fun but now it just doesn't hit the same anymore. Man, I feel old. This game is a little over 10 years old (2014) and I remember the game being a few years old, time flies and will fly so fast to the point where you think a game is a few years old one day, and then it becomes a decade old. Now I'm not saying Goat Simulator is bad, but rather how time goes very fast.

I love goat simulator it is an amazing game to play with friends ;-)

You get to be a goat that's just a menace to society. It's beautiful.

I know i'm gonna get murdered in my sleep for this but i spent around 2 hours trying to find out how to get at least more then 20 - 40 fps with all the settings down. i absolutely love this game but i can not live without 60fps. Mobile version preforms better. Anyways I'm gonna go get Goat Simulator 3 or Remastered.

Extremely funny game. Also just a fun game with lots and lots and lots of secrets

I want to like this game, but I can't. I've played it before on someone's console and it was really fun, but every time I open this on Steam, it crashes my computer. Not just Steam, I need to fully restart my entire computer. No other game has done this for me and I can't solve the problem.

Iconic game that was released at the best time, matching with internet humor. Everyone remembers their favorite Youtuber playing this game at it's peak. Even now, the game is fun to come back to.

this game is and always has been my childhood

really fun but the game is so buggy that I always need to close it with task manager

ver fun, me can kick people in buttcheeks, and fly as piece of chees. burger cheese, all hail the lord i love merica and my beer, FOR MY COUNTRY.

fun achievement grind game
also fun game in general

i thought i was playing an only english game.
Until i heard Mette Frediksen yell at me for destroying her fence.

10/10

Best and funniest game ever 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
I NEED to get the rest of the DLC's and sequels.

Absolutely hilarious game. Can run on even some of the worst PCs. Love this game.

it's a good game to cure boredom, but why can't i change goat mid game

funniest game ever if you headbut a person next to a wall THEY GO INTO IT.

This game is the goat. I love how open the game is and how chaotic it is. The movement is hilarious as well

I ended up getting bored of this game quite quickly than how I expected since in my opinion there's not much to do in this game. I find this to be a sandbox game but the only thing if I remember when playing this game that are optional tasks are the achievements. However I find most of the achievements to be very boring as well

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☑ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☑ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☑ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☑ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☑ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

I love Goats and this game was perfect for me. It's fun and odd and funny. So many things to do and things to explore! Overall I love this game, and I will keep playing it till the day I die!

Absolute Childhood Classic

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☑ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☐ Workable
☑ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☑ Isn't necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☑ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☑ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

Best game of all time?

Yes.

i have played this for 16 hours and still dont understand what the fuck is going on.
brainfuck/10

i played this game again recently and it ages like fine wine maybe thinking of picking up the remaster version

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☐ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☑ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☑ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☑ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

---{ Author }---
☑ https://vojtastruhar.github.io/steam-review-template