Zombeer

Zombeer, a zombie first person shooter game with a neat side-concept (beer), considering it was released on Steam in January 2015, aged. Not well, not bad.
Just the perfectly balanced level of ageing.
That "perfectly balanced level" is a theme following you throughout the game in the sense of you having to keep a balanced level of alcohol flow within your body.
So, besides of bleeding out, your options to die are too much ("Drunk") or not enough ("Zombified") alcohol in your veins; you can balance this with drinking Zombeer (hence the name of the game).

Visibly, the game holds up with more recent Unity-Engine made games.
The game mechanics are integrated kind of well, with stairs being an enemy of your speed; the aiming system feels broken - you do get a crosshair and the option to aim down sights, but it just feels that the bullets are not connecting. If they do, it can feel rewarding to hear the protagonist scream "Headshot!".
However, it can get annoying real quick.
Overall, the controls seem sluggish. Movement yes, running yes (running is recommended at all times!). Big minus points for not being able to change the controls via the menu.
The audio seems well enough. I had the feeling that sometimes the audio just went crazy on certain music tracks, and that sometimes the bitrate of the audio tracks in general were low and not nice to listen to.
The whole concept of being perfectly drunk the whole time, with over- or underdosing being a whole state for you to manage, as well as the whole highschool zombie stuff in cartoonish style is just great. I really loved it.
The puzzles in this game are fun to find out. Not too hard, but nearly too easy.
The collectables are just to get the player to spend more time on the game.
Script-wise, it's alright. Sometimes there are references, some good jokes, sometimes dad-jokes and some light chuckle moments. The story is... well. It has a story to a certain point.

I wished, I really wished that the developers would have continued on this game, other than leaving it in the state as it is right now. A little bugfixing considering the movement and the aiming system, as well as changing some audio files for quality reasons, and the game would be fine.
A playthrough is done fairly quick, even with the devs audio tracks (collectable in game!) telling you at some point that the money ran out (under the circumstances of the Spanish financial crisis, also told in a dev audio track) and if the game sells well, they would continue the series.
Because of this, the ending is open. It has been open for 10 years now. Sadly.
I know that this isn't a triple-A game, and expectations should be low. But man, I didn't expect that "ending".
I will definitely replay this game once in a while, even though it is missing the end or a (worthy) successor.


Get this game when it's cheap (like in the Steam Summer Sale).
Buying a game that wasn't finished or is missing the follow-up for the actual storyline for the whole price isn't worth it.
Still, I recommend.

After playing it for 3 hours and finishing the game, all I'm about to say is.... this game sucks, legit the most infuriating game I played, the controls are bad, the sound mixing are bad and everything in the game is bad.

Just like the game weapons.

- The Weapons:

The nail gun is fine but shooting it? Is the worst, it doesn't have an impact on how strong it is, same with the shotgun, also the octopus shotgun doesn't have enough ammo, the melee…. how do I explain it, it's a Toy of some sort, you know what? F*ck it, it's a dildo, there's no point of hiding it, it's an adult toy, they showed it in the screenshot, also it's a useless weapon, it will take you some time to just kill a zombie, and it only kills one at a time, the only thing that feels really good to use, is the beer bomb, at least that it have some impact when you used it.

The game only has 4 weapons, basically a Melee, Pistol, Shotgun and a Frag.

There’s one weapon that you can use but only once, and it’s a shame that you can’t use it anymore, because that’s the only weapon that feels really good, it’s a sniper weapon, it had some impact, it’s strong and fun to use, but they decided to only used it once and never again. They even bother you to collect all the parts and for what? Only use it for a tower defence type of mission? That sucks.

You know what, I’ll at least give them some props, they did something "unique" with the game mechanics.

- Balance your alcohol:

The beer mechanics are different from any other games I played. You need to drink the zombeer so you won't turn into a zombie, and drinking too much will make you really drunk, and will basically end your game when it reaches the meter. Yes it's different, but it's really annoying when you need to drink a beer and fight at the same time, mind you it’s draining fairly quickly and you need to check your infected meter and drunk meter constantly to balance the two.

But not as annoying as the Protagonist.

- The Characters are bad:

First of all, the Protagonist is annoying af, when he drinks a beer he’ll always said some cringe and unfunny dialog, he always making a reference, his always joking around, and he won’t shut the f*ck up. He's like Duke Nukem, but worse. Also he’s infected or something, I just don’t really care.

The GF Zombie, there’s nothing really interesting about her, she’s just a progress to your story.

The Boss/Principal Zombie, I forgot what his name is, it’s something stupid and I don’t really care, the only thing I know about him is, him being a zombie, he’s a pervert, he orders other infected around, and you fight him at the Football court, well more like fighting his goons, that’s all I remembered, he’s really f*cking annoying at the end tho, I gave them that.

They also showed a female character at the very end, why tho?. The only thing she contributed in the story is that she's getting chased in the football field and you need to save her with the sniper that you built. The only thing to know about her is that she's a cosplayer (the Protagonist won’t shut the f*ck about her being hot, she’s a cosplayer and she’s the only female alive), and she will kill your girlfriend as a thanks for saving her.

Yeah, nothing special about the characters, unlike the zombies, at least there’s something interesting about them.

- The Zombies Type:

I won’t lie, I kinda like the art style they go for, and the design of the infected, at least the female zombies I really like there designs, it seems the devs had fun designing the zombies, the male zombies are plain to look at tho.

There’s some special zombies as well.

The Mime Zombie will scream at you really loud and it will slowly damage you.

The Exercise Zombie will dance in front of you and make you really drunk, it will add some bar in your drunk meter (this piece of sh*t is really annoying at the end game btw).

The Cheerleader Zombies will boost the defense and damage of all the male zombies.

And

The Football Zombies that are hard to kill cus’ it got some armor.

So basically just a Screamer, a Zombie that makes you drunk, a Booster and a Durable Zombie.

The infected are at least fun to deal with except the one that makes you drunk, fuck that, unlike them, the story is bad.

- The story is lackluster:

It doesn’t have any story, it doesn't tell you why there’s an outbreak, they just put you in the bar, they tell you that you’re infected and you need to pick up the “Dildo” and drink some beer, and then they asked you to rescue your infected gf from the perverted principal zombie or something, and that's it. That's the plot.

Also the game doesn't even have an ending, they didn't even let you kill the boss, they just let him die in a cutscene, it's really cringy how he died tho.

I'll tell you how he died, cus’ I don’t really care about this game spoiler and sh*t, so…. he died when you throw the "Dildo" straight to his eye, and it penetrated his head, I know… the f*ck is this sh*t? Also it's a cliffhanger ending, they just add a dancing female zombie in a bunny outfit on a platform that is inside some mouth border and it hits you with a "To Be Continue" end.

Amazing.

This game is something.

- The Bad, The Good and The Glitches:

So everything I said about this is, yes, it’s really f*cking bad. I didn’t have fun at all, and I certainly didn’t enjoy playing it, it just annoyed me as much as the hours I put in this game.

The game is too short for me, I don’t know if I’m fine with it or not, cus’ 1 it’s too short and you can finish it in one sitting, and 2 I’m happy that I’m done with this game.

The shooting feels not the greatest, sometimes even if you shot them point blank it misses somehow, and I used the shotgun.

It doesn’t tell you where to go sometimes, and it’s confusing on what to do next in the story.

Also if you die, it will spawn you at the worst checkpoint possible, and it’s especially annoying when you die at the boss fight and it respawn you at the entrance so you have to watch the cutscene over and over again cus’ there’s no skip button.

The QTE is annoying to do, I really hate QTE missions.

However there’s some positives that I can give.

At least they tried making an actual game even if it’s bad and it’s really cheap, they have their own character model and it doesn’t look like an asset flip that you can buy, they got some references that I actually know, they had fun with the dialog and lines and the devs left us some cassettes to find, the audios are the diary where they talked about the making of the game.

It looks like they had fun making this, but it’s hard to recommend Zombeer to anyone.

The main thing that annoyed me is the bugs, there’s a lot of glitches and weird visual bugs that I encountered, audio sometimes doesn’t sync up, at least in the cutscene, and soft locking me at the sniper mission and had to restart my PC cus’ the game doesn’t want to quit.

That’s it.

Final thoughts.

- Final Thoughts about the game:

The only thing that I remembered about this is, it’s full of pop culture references from games and movies, and a bunch of crude humor.

Look, I like my games with some crazy things that happen, and full of ass and tits, but this is a bit too much for my liking, I mean if they start creating the continuation of this game, I will buy it and check it out, who knows.

I’ll give Zombeer a 3.5/10.

If you want to play a game with zombies, hot chicks and basically similar to this with full pop culture reference, just play Lollipop Chainsaw, or if you just want to play an NSFW zombie games, just play Seed of the Dead (mostly the 2), Lust 'n Dead and 28 Babes Later, at least those games you’ll have some fun playing compared to this.

Beers, Booba and Zombies what else do you need? ¬‿¬

Masterpiece.

I got it cuz of the cheap price and neat looking guns and girls. The game is just puns and crude humor. Plus your always infected so thats annoying. Pretty much every bad that thing that annoys me in a game is in this. Even for 2 dollars, this is awful.

Broken mess FILLED with unfun mechanics and references. That's it. The ending is even broken.

This game is 2 hours long when you have sprint full on and there are so many great references and great shooting sections.

It's an alright enough concept and I think that we all can appreciate a game with some good boobs. But honestly the game just isn't fun, the shooting is some of the worst I've seen in recent years, it's completely unresponsive, when you fire it doesn't look like anything is coming out of the gun and the enemies do not react to getting hit. Worst of all is the protagonist who is just doesn't shut the fuck up and feels the need to comment on everything. The game also gets really crazy with it's references, I don't mind it when a game references another thing from pop culture, but literally in the tutorial they had be crawl through a minecraft cave before jumping into a mario pipe.

Look if you wanna play a zombie game with big tits just go download some mods for dead rising or something. 2/10

Can you Double Jump in this Game? No.

Zombeer is a parody/reference heavy cheesy horror shooter. Like it lays it on think immediately. Interact with a cigarette machine and it makes a Duke Nukem reference, pick up a nail gun and Alan Wake American Nightmare reference, star wars death star, lost, etc. I would like that, but the gameplay isn't very good because the weapons i picked up have no weight at all.