Unbox: Newbie's Adventure

4/5 star

"Unbox: Newbie’s Adventure is pretty damn dreadful, so much so that I gave up on it after a mere two hours of play.  I’m often reticent to compare games to others too heavily, because I like letting them stand on their own merits, but seriously, there are so many high-quality 3D platformers out there that I can’t imagine why you would want to waste your time with this one.  Even without comparing it to other games in the genre, it falls down under scrutiny.  It’s unpleasant to control, tedious and frustrating to play, and doesn’t offer a single feature that compels me to pick it back up again.  I think the best time I had with it was customizing my box in the character creator, and if that’s not a damning indictment, I don’t know what is.  There’s a potentially fun, albeit generic platformer buried underneath here if things like the character movement were cleaned up.  But when mediocrity is the best a game could hope to strive for, perhaps it’s better to look elsewhere for a compelling experience.  This is one gift you definitely shouldn’t unbox."

Full review here

chill

i loved the part wher newbie said "its unbox time" and then he unboxed all over the place, 10/10 would un my box again

dandtm

Great little platformer with surprisingly good controls.

very underrated and after 8 years of waiting to play this after watching DanTDM play this and i can say it was 100% worth every penny

DanTDM is the reason i bought this game

Link to review: https://backloggd.com/u/RedBackLoggd/review/1893454/

Tl;dr - if you’re a veteran gamer like myself, there’s just not enough meat on the bones of Unbox to make it completely worth your while. It’s a beautiful love letter to the Banjo-Kazooie’s of yore, but again, there’s a reason we left those platformers behind in the fifth generation: there’re better game design principles out there.

GG

good for people who suck at video games. my little brother liked it :)

---{ Graphics }---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☑ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ MS-DOS

---{ Gameplay }---
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☑ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh
☐ Watch paint dry instead
☐ Just don't

---{ Audio }---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad
☐ I'm now deaf

---{ Audience }---
☑ Kids
☐ Teens
☐ Adults
☑ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☑ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big
☐ Will eat 10% of your 1TB hard drive
☐ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it
☐ You will need to invest in a black hole to hold all the data

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Just press 'W'
☑ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Grind }---
☐ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isn't necessary to progress
☑ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You'll need a second life for grinding

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☑ Average
☐ Good
☐ Lovely
☐ It'll replace your life

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☑ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☐ Worth the price
☑ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☑ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☐ 10

---{ Author }---
☑ https://vojtastruhar.github.io/steam-review-template