Don't Die Dateless, Dummy!

106 hours of dating prowess will say the gameplay only gets really good after 20 hours

A very short visual novel with light dating sim mechanics and very simple stat management based on the routes chosen to either win the heart of one of three girls or fail miserably and become a Wizard by the time you turn 30. The writing is very funny and the art complements the game well. There is no real lewd here only pictures of the girls in underwear when you conquer them. A good couple of hours of replay value as you explore your character's choices for better or worse. Recommended if you get it at a discount.

This game....
was clearly written by someone whose only knowledge of college is from what they could see from their car window on vacation to Disney World during Spring Break in 1996.
They have no idea how to actually talk to WAMAN
And they attempt to be feminist but its actually misguided misogyny from someone whose only knowledge of feminist theory comes from bad porn videos.
Also why do all the girls have foreheads bigger than my dreams?
I can't figure out how to see one (1) titty
and all the inner monologues are hella creepy and I hope this guy stays a beta cuck forever
P.S. Developer is a virgin

It's a short game but I had fun with it. Price is kind of high but I think I got it on sale so it wasn't too bad. The dialogue is pretty witty and fun and the character designs are nice too. Some of it is limited but that's what I kind of like about it. I liked that it was easy to go through. My one complaint is how the controls work. There doesn't seem to be an option to skip through previously read text to get to the answers so I kept hitting 'space' hoping I didn't accidentally hit a choice. Other than that it was pretty fun. :)

I'm confused. Why the fuck I ever bought this game? Oh well. Game is very short visual novel and it takes about 10 minutes to complete every route. I admit that I laughed more than I should have when I got that Lvl30 Wizard achievement almost immediately. But yeah. 3/10 and not sure would I recommend this or not. But my next life goal is to become Super Saiyan God or Pervert Sage. That much I know :D

This game truly reflects what it's like to be a Gamer/Weeb/Man just entering college that has no skills with women. The multiple endings are all great, few nice and others humorous.

I recommend this game completely, great laughs for just 2.99!

A nice visual novel, with only three girls but a lots of options and endings.
The fourth achievement could be a little hard to get, 'cos you need to get 8 bad endings..
Didn't like the fact that there is no skip dialogue or things like hold-shift to go faster.. so you end over and over many times on answering the same questions.
Overall I can't say this is a bad game, though. There's plenty of better visual novels, but this is average.

So, in this game you play a MMORPG-player who decides he needs to get out and meet girls as he enters university. He fears that if he doesn't by the time he is 30, he'll become a wizard! Anyway, through a series of choices, you either end up becoming a wizard anyway, die in an unfortunate... accident... or you end up with Lia, a lady with a heart of gold, Elle, an intelligent lady studying to be a doctor, or Vera, a young, driven professional. Choose wisely.

I've 100%'d the majority of visual novels on Steam and this one is truly the worst out there. All you need to know is that "cuck orbiter" and "Kappa" are part of the script. Yikes.

a short and interesting dating sim, choose from 3 good endings or end up as a Lvl.30 Wizard
It has some funny reference jokes and i enjoyed it.
it's not long, but it only costs 2,99€, so i say its for people who want a 1 hour break from whatever your doing.
7/10

This game is, first of all, not a good dating sim, but I'm pretty sure that that is fairly easy to deduce from the art and pictures alone. Why did I get it then, you ask? My friends and I got it after a night out at the bar as a joke, having heard of the "level thirty wizard" ending, and assumed it would be funny in a live-action Super Mario kind of way: hilarious cheesy trash that would at least be enjoyable inebriated. Spoiler: it isn't. This is one of those games that crosses the line thrice: from bad to so bad it's good to so bad it's horrible. We got a bad ending by picking one arbirtray choice, then ten minutes later bumbled our way into the Ellie ending through equally arbitrary choices. It's badly written, badly concieved, badly designed and badly pretty much everything when you get right down it. Written by a misogynistic frat boy who has not gotten to first base with a woman other than his mother and programmed by an infinite army of monkeys with typewriters that haven't gotten around to writing Hamlet yet, I cannot un-recommend this game enough. Don't buy it seriously. Don't buy it as a joke. Just don't buy it.

Also, twenty space bucks says the programmer's name is Chad.

The choices' effect on getting a good ending or a bad ending appear to be arbitrary. There is no way to determine which choice is right because the "right" choice is whatever the developer wants it to be instead of what makes sense. You can play through and get a bad ending, then play through again with the opposite choices and still get a bad ending. If you enjoy making random choices until you stumble on the right combination to get a good ending then this might be for you. It's probably better to forget about this and go talk to some real girls in real life.

Bought on Summer sale 2016

Within 2 minutes of reading, I became a level 30 wizard.
The End.

Or.... so I thought. 13 minutes later, gets Lia as waifu.

Fastest VN I've read so far. (Is that a good thing or a bad thing?)

At least, my Xbox GT is free from this game.

Update: I got all achievements under an hour. (recorded time)

You can't skip text.

Short game or not, that's the biggest problem about the game. No idea what those other reviewers were talking about, saying it was hard to get the endings, but for a game with two(?) main routes, skipping text is needed. I kept clicking the space bar and selecting the wrong choices for the other playthroughs, and had to restart.

Only got 2/4 achievements, and I think that there might be a third girl to get, judging from both achievements and the title screen, but I don't really want to go back right now and try to get it. There wasn't any nudity in this game at all, which was the top reason I bought it, besides the price being cheap. It was just one ending scene where it shows the girl in their bra. Their expressions not really changing was also an issue I didn't like.

Other than that though, I liked the writing style. As a fellow Ren'py user, I'd say this is a good reference for how dialogue should flow, and the kind of tone background music should have. Because from personal experience, a lot of free music resources out there are either too loud, or sped up. Which doesn't really work since a lot of VN's on steam are high school/college type of settings. Can't really say much about the story, knowing that it was a short game.

The protagonist's thoughts were pretty cringey, which I wouldn't say is a bad thing. Talking to the two girls, the game gets into the trope where characters tell their backstories to strangers they've only just met, although I don't think it felt forced. Stats are the only choices that really matter, since the dialogue options just lead to the same ones no matter what. That's pretty much all you can really say about the game.

I've spent more on coffee that was less enjoyable than this game.
Stop bitching about games needing to be free.

Game was short but it was enjoyable, and more than worth the 3 bucks and some change that it cost me.

If you need a Visual Novel game fix and don't have 40+ hours of your life to invest into it, because you have better things to do, like having sex with your actual girlfriend, or going to work, so you can have money, so you do not need to bitch about all the things you think should be free, then this is a nice short game to play.

Though I am not an enthusiast of either visual novels or dating simulators, I would say the game is poking fun at both of these genres, as well as any "slice of life" manga or anime out there. I personally found it very amusing.

Playing as a new college student (fill in the name) his main concern is not ending up a virgin (though the game says dateless) before his 30th birthday. If he is a virgin at age 30, he will become a Level 30 wizard which is the last thing he wants to happen. He is basically a NEET already and trying to emerge from his shell. The amusing bits are the fact he is not apologetic about his mind set and simply happy any woman talks to him. He is not creepy or really perverted in his attempts at talking to women just a little clueless, rather awkward and a bit stupid if that choice is made. His internal dialogue is really amusing, at least to me it was.

This is a short game, about an hour if the player uses the save game feature. Ultimately, there are three woman he can try to date and win the heart of, two in college, and one later at his professional work place. For older players say anyone over 30 (who has ever dated or tried to date), there are some quite tongue in cheek and rather hidden inferences about the realities and hazards of dating. (Which will get into spoiler territory if revealed and is probably why I found this game so interesting.) My last achievement was Archmage (get rejected by girls so much your magic is limitless) and I found that rather hard to get. (The player has to work hard at failing in this game.) All three women are very easily romanced (There can be only one - per game scenerio) if the player uses just a little strategy when investing points into Charisma, Intelligence, or Strength.

All in all, an interesting and amusing game, and worth an hour or so of time.

First "dating" sim I've played and I honestly love it and it's not at an insane price, maybe add some DLC stories or something then you got yourself a kickasss franchise.
The comedy is just greatness and I kinda felt like there was even more to unlock and witness in the game.

Very short yes but I don't think I've had as much fun with a text based game. Good job Cupholder.

Really short guys i sorta feel cheated that i wasted 3 dollars on this. Its a good game though, just way to short. I beat the female routes in 5 to 10 minutes.

Way too short. As Master Indigo has pointed out, it takes approximately 10 minutes to complete one story arch and there is only three of them. The game also gives you a false promise of gaining skills like strenght, intelligence and charisma, but in the end there is not enough complexity for that kind of thing. They only affect which ending you get and there isn't really enough time that to be anywhere important factor. You gained some strenght, what of it? Where do I use it? What is the meaning of having a good strenght and low intelligence? Does my choices matter? It's over already?

I love dating sims where you gain attributes by doing deliberate choices and put effort in raising them. I also love visual novels, where there is a good and long enough story that I feel immersed in the world and the few choices I make really makes me think or regret things. This is not one of them. I feel I paid too much and it was only 2,99€. On the hindsight, I wouldn't play it even for free. It is not badly made game, but it is too short and makes the player too passive as a watcher. Either add more meaning to the choices or make it much longer.

This is one of those Dating Sims that knows whose the kind of people who are probably playing it... the kind of people who can take a joke about the stereotypes regarding people who play Dating Sims. This game is kinda expensive for what it is. However, I'd say that if you buy this game, it's worth keeping. The humor in this game is really good at what it tries to do, especially one scene in particular that I found to be pretty clever. Which scene that is and why it's clever is not something I'm gonna explain here, though, because that's not what this is about. It took me 45 minutes to get all 3 good endings and some of the "Wizard" endings, too, but I'd still say it's worth a buy. It's one of those super short Visual Novels that you may want to pick up and play every once in a while. Would recommend, however, just make sure you're aware of how short the game is prior to buying it.

Should be free. It's funny but lacks contents.

There are 3 different endings, each time the game will take you about 10 minutes to finish. I was trying to take different paths, but they made little to no difference in the end.

Gameplay is basic visual novel, where you read a part, answer some questions which defined how the story continues.

Even for visual novel, this is way too short. One playthought takes about 10 minutes, when you read everything. So you could beat it 100% in less than an hour.

With more content, if it was lenghtier I could recommend it. But the way it is, I can't recommend paying to play it.