Half-Life 2: Episode One

half life

:ok_hand:

Zombines

Pretty fun.

zombine

Ну и хирня

Bro… I can’t even hide it anymore. I’m too far gone. I am OBSESSED with Alyx Vance’s ass. And I don’t mean in a ‘haha funny’ kind of way—I mean in a life-altering, brain-rewiring, absolutely down-astronomical kind of way. I’m telling you, I boot up Half-Life 2: Episode One and I’m not thinking about saving the world, fighting the Combine, or protecting humanity. No. All I’m thinking about is following Alyx just so I can stare at that perfect ass for hours. It’s like Valve handcrafted every polygon of her backside with love and care. Every time she crouches, moves, or even breathes, my eyes are LOCKED on her like a headcrab homing in on my skull.

I swear to Gaben himself, those jeans aren’t just jeans—they’re a work of art. Sculpted. Engineered. Perfectly tailored to cradle that ass in a way that defies all logic and reason. I’ve studied them like I’m preparing a doctoral thesis. The way they mold to her curves when she’s crouched behind cover? I’m out here pausing the game just to soak it all in. Like, I’m dying in firefights because my eyes are GLUED to that majestic view. I’m not paying attention to headcrabs, man. I’m paying attention to those curves. It’s not even about survival anymore—it’s about witnessing greatness.

And the animations? BRO. The way Alyx walks? It’s a gift. A blessing. The sway… the subtle bounce… It’s hypnotic. I could follow her around City 17 forever, like a loyal simp, just watching that perfect movement. And when she crouch-walks? That’s when I lose it. It’s like the devs knew EXACTLY what they were doing. They could’ve made her crouch fast, but nah—they made it slow enough that you get a full view. Every pixel, every frame, I’m there soaking it in. I’ve replayed sections of the game just to watch her crouch through that air duct in Episode Two. I know what’s coming, but I reload anyway because I need to see that angle again.

Bro, when she climbs a ladder? I’m not even moving. I let her go first every time. I need that view. It’s not optional. I’ve died so many times because I’m just standing there, watching her ascend like a goddess. And don’t even get me started on her vaulting over obstacles. That slight boost up? The way her hips shift, that perfect bounce? I’m sweating just thinking about it. Valve didn’t have to go that hard, but they did. For me. For us.

But man… when Half-Life: Alyx dropped? I thought I’d be in VR heaven. I was READY to get up close and personal with that ass like never before. I had the headset on, controllers ready, and I was prepared for the most immersive experience of my life. But then… THEN… it hit me. You play as Alyx. I WAS Alyx. I couldn’t even see the one thing I was obsessed with. It was like putting a starving man in a buffet and telling him he can’t eat. I was out here trying to find reflective surfaces just to catch a glimpse. I was bending over tables, crouching behind cover, doing everything I could to see what I knew was right there. I even tried noclipping just to get a third-person view. But nah, Valve wasn’t gonna let me enjoy greatness like that.
I’m telling you, I spent half the game staring at glass and shiny surfaces, trying to line up angles so I could see what I was missing. I even paused to check the models in the Steam Workshop. I needed to see it. I was down bad in VR, bro. I was looking at Alyx’s hands and thinking, “These hands have touched greatness.” I had to physically stop myself from bending over in-game just to imagine what everyone else was seeing. It was painful, man. Pure torture.

Look, I know Gordon Freeman’s supposed to be the hero, but if he’s not appreciating what’s right in front of him, he’s a fool. Alyx doesn’t just have a great personality, she’s got the most perfect backside ever rendered in a video game. If Gordon doesn’t lock that down after the Combine fall, I’m stepping in. I’ll toss the crowbar aside and spend my days admiring what Valve has blessed us with.

I can’t stop. I won’t stop. Alyx Vance’s ass lives rent-free in my mind, 24/7. I’ll follow her through the Citadel, through the wastelands, into Ravenholm—I don’t care. As long as I get to admire that perfect masterpiece in motion, I’m there. Forever

​​Scratchy's__ score: 8/10​ - Very ​Good

bruh

Pretty good, but very short. Story's not as good as Half-Life 2, but if you want more Half-Life, definitely play this one and Ep. 2. It's included with base HL2 now, so now you have more of an excuse to play this one.

it aint a tool bro

Game was short like an Episode but it' climax better be worth it !!

Ура

Halfed my life

fun

100% done. short but good

3 hours of going through pretty boring levels, and nothing really happens. You should just skip this episode and go straight to the next one. You won't miss out on anything

REAL ONES STILL OWN THIS GAME IN 2025

While the story is intriguing and was the reason for me to still play it, the level design seems very bland despite having a fun gameplay loop.

ONE BULLET!

I thought I'd leave a review cuz I bought the game before it came with half life.
Im such an OG :))
Im joking

Welp, my review won't matter since this game was delisted. Don't worry, Valve just made HL2 Ep.1 and Ep.2 as part of HL2 base, so getting that will give you both this and Ep.2 with it. You aren't missing anything.

The sun is leaking

this gmae is balls dont ujse toilet p[aoper in tyour motherbpard to maje fastemr i tmtp[ptalking yo you mr egg

ok

Still didn't half my life.

R.I.P Half Life 2 Episode One and 2
2006, 2007-2024

THE FACT THAT YOU CAN EDIT IT EASLY AND PLAY OFFLINE VARY GOOD GAME PLAY

probably the worst of the trilogy but it's still a really good trilogy

This game vanished from my library and I think that’s mildly funny

An new episode in the amazing journey of Doctor Gorgon Freedom. Explore exiting new areas like the end of the game at the beginning, and a trein station. Enjoy many new challenges and have fun. Enjoy the final appearance of classic character Barney. Stay tuned for more awesome episodes!

I haven't seen a worst game for a looong time than this one.
Game play is so slow, enemies are not differ.
Story is cliche and will make you sleep.
Also, there is no HL3 so no need to play an unfinished game.
Refund is a necessity.
Also, It's full of bugs.

absolute cinema

what a yawn fest, someone at valve has the hots for dog and alyx.

Good

Basically just more Half-Life 2. What's there to complain about? I don't really get why people don't like this one as much as the others, I thought the hospital chapter was great and the final strider fight was intense and unexpected on a first playthrough.

Half life 2 is one of the greatest games of all time, this is just more of it, same with episode 2. It's basically just like another chapter in half life 2, it's not a whole different game, so I'm not sure why they called it episode one instead of just another chapter, but it's whatever, because it's still amazing, and a must play.

ok

Fordon Greeman

surprisingly shorter than expected. the hostage rescue felt kinda repetitive, but game was fun for the most part.

Episode 2 is much better and Episode 1 was disappointing, but I still recommend it. Or at least, I recommend the 2nd half of the game.

Here's a bunch of my thoughts on the game :

Lots of waiting around at first. Can't use guns for like 100 min. I don't find the game to be fun overall before about 75-100 min.

After that, I actually really like the game, but there are a lot of flaws or at least aspects of the game that are worth criticising.

Sometimes some puzzles are good, but puzzles are in general annoying in this game instead of being fun.

Sometimes the game is way too easy and sometimes the game doesn't help you enough figuring out what to do.

Game got better after about 80 minutes. After that it's much more fun. The game taking that long to get good is too long for a 4h game, BUT, I still really enjoyed the 2nd part.

There was 1 puzzle in particular that was bulls**t : the puzzle involving a rocking metal pipe that you have to jump from. That was just poor game design in my opinion.

Why can't we go through Alyx? She often blocks the way for no reason and she forces me to take heavy damage from zombies or explosives in close quarters.

She also stops me from shooting by being in front of me.

***One big thing I noticed about Episode 1 (Episode 2 is not really like that) is that the game usually doesn't allow me to be good at it unless I go back to a previous save. Very often, you will not be able to play strategically or avoid taking a lot of damage. There is often not enough room or the game doesn't provide you tools to be strategic (for example, grenades, weapons or things in your environment).

Very often, soldiers suddenly appear on the map when you can't see them and even while they're shooting at you, the game is bad at letting you know where they are (by sound or indicators). This is very different from other shooters (for example, Halo campaigns or even Call of Duty - at least from what I remember).

It's a type of difficulty, but it feels artificial and it's not a fun type of difficulty because you simply can't not take damage and are not allowed to be smart on the spot. The only way you can actually by good at the game (other than typical fps skills) is by going back to a previous save.

This is in my opinion bad game design.

This also applies for many traps that we encounter. Basically, unavoidable deaths.

Why is there a limit to the flashlight? Just makes the game worse.

Bug : I got stuck in a destroyed helicopter and had to load a save.

Wasted 20 minutes in the last section of the game because Alyx kept dying. The reason : she was stuck in a wall at an awkward spot she wasn't to be in AND she wouldn't shoot enemies. Took me a while to realize it was a (almost game-breaking?) bug.

I know I'm making it sound like I hated the game - and I did dislike multiple things - but I actually am glad I played it despite the flaws. What doesn't help is that I encountered a major bug at the end (Alyx being stuck in a wall).

Other stuff that I wrote in my Episode 2 review (FLAWS THAT ARE IN BOTH GAMES) :

Alyx or other allies often physically blocking our way
Unskippable in-game cutscenes, yet on the other hand, dialogues that are unfinished (triggered when loading a zone)
Unavoidable deaths/traps (much worse in Episode 1)
Sometimes not knowing where to go or what to do (worse in Episode 1)

Everyone knows it, everyone has played it. A true classic. 10/10

Kinda linear but none-the-less a great game. Part 2 is much better.

Evet

MY MONEY :(

Addictive Game. So many twists and turns. Fallen in love with Alyx. Ridiculous!

Game is unlisted now, and is available for free within Half Life 2.

So im guessing i can post a rare review here now that hl2 episode 1 is binded to Hl2 itself

başkan... yapma... başkan yapma..

The game is a nice change from Half life 2