Stellar Blade™

When 2B’s bu... I mean, heels carry another game into victory!

My GotY in 2024. Really fun game with a great soundtrack. Eidos 7 Silent Street is the track for the first area of the game (after the beach invasion) and has been in my mind for over a year now. Such a catchy tune to start the game with.

The PC port is fantastic.

Preorderd on Steam and downloaded the game 1 day early.. just to get a Denuvo error on day 1 that makes the game unplayable.

"You can no longer authenticate on new devices
Currently your game purchase cannot be re-validated successfully, please wait 24 hours and try again.

© Denuvo GmbH"

In a world full of unoptimized slop it really is great to see a game run so smoothly

and Eve is fucking hot

There is more than two reasons ,hot outfits, and physics for why I paid for Complete Edition, right ?
I am just siting in a chair, listening to the music, yea that's it.

I never paid this much for day 1 on a game. Others should learn what we want, the music too, do this and you can milk my money! This game is so good, I won't even mod it first play-through (yet). Bless the modders, they already added dozens of them.

Great gameplay and boss fights, reminds me of NieR Automata

I had tried the game on PlayStation for about 2 hours, and after playing a bit more here on Steam, I already know that I will spend 100-150 hours on it when I fully dive into it in the next few days.

For me, Stellar Blade is the best mix of hack-and-slash and Souls-like gameplay. The optimization is great. I'm running the game on ultra settings with a 3060 GPU and I'm getting a stable 60 fps. The combat is fluid and satisfying, the parries feel really rewarding.

I haven't reached the open world yet, but the areas I've explored so far already look stunning. I also think the characters are well written and really likable. I can't say anything about the story yet, but from what I've heard it has a good story and I think it's more than enough for this kind of game.

If you have your eye on this game, don't hesitate. Whether you're here for the action, the visuals, or just to explore the world of EVE, there's a lot to love. Last but not least, I tried the game in 3 languages and I definitely recommend you to play it in Japanese as the Japanese dub is very good.

Finally, thank you for the Turkish language support. I hope you will continue to include them in your future projects. 💖

Runs smoothly, great graphics, and gameplay. Great Soundtrack.

I'm a simple man: if there's a hot woman in the game, I'll buy it.

And every time a player buys Stellar Blade, an SBI employee cries in the shower.

Take my money....... we need more games of culture like this. This game has some of the most beautiful ASSets i ever seen. You really have to give credit to the devs for creating this with one hand. It’s far better than I ASSumed. One of the best Jiggle Souls game out there.

🔥 Stellar Blade: A Review So Horny It Violated the Geneva Convention 🔥
Listen to me. I didn’t play Stellar Blade — I was defiled by it. This wasn’t a gaming session. This was a spiritual awakening wrapped in latex and jiggle physics. I booted up the game, saw Eve’s opening strut, and immediately started breathing like a pug in July.

The way she moves? Illegal. The outfit? Criminal. The backshots—I mean, backflips? I needed a priest and a bottle of holy water. Every time she dodged an attack, I dodged my dignity. That woman didn't just slay monsters — she slayed me. Emotionally. Physically. Anatomically.

The camera angles? Designed by the devil himself. Someone on that dev team was NOT okay. I’m talking “spent 400 hours animating her inner thigh with tears in their eyes” energy. I entered cutscenes as a man and exited as a puddle. At one point, the camera panned behind her while she climbed a ladder, and I swear to God, I heard my PS5 whisper, “You don’t deserve this.”

Combat? Yeah, I guess there’s fighting. But I wasn’t focusing on dodges and parries — I was locked in on the booty physics coded by Zeus and rendered by Unreal Engine’s thirstiest engineers. Her special moves should’ve been rated AO for Absolutely Obscene. I paused to look at her idle animations and woke up three hours later, covered in Dorito dust and regret.

I’ve never felt this way about a game character. I made her my phone wallpaper. I changed my Netflix password to her name. I whispered “yes mommy” every time she picked up loot. I tried to romance her by standing still in front of her reflection. She blinked. I moaned.

At one point during a boss fight, I died because I got distracted by the way the wind gently brushed against her lower back. I uninstalled the game out of shame… and reinstalled it ten minutes later because I physically couldn’t go on without her. My therapist says I need help. I say I need Eve DLC.

FINAL SCORE: 69/10
Would smash IRL / 10.
I didn't beat the game. The game beat me.

---{ Graphics }---
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Bad

---{ Gameplay }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It's just gameplay
☐ Mehh

---{ Audio }---
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad

---{ Audience }---
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Grandma

---{ PC Requirements }---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☑ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☐ Rich boi
☐ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{ Game Size }---
☐ Floppy Disk
☐ Old Fashioned
☑ Workable
☐ Big

---{ Difficulty }---
☐ Easy
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☑ Significant brain usage
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{ Story }---
☐ No Story
☐ Some lore
☐ Average
☐ Good
☑ Lovely

---{ Game Time }---
☐ Long enough for a cup of coffee
☐ Short
☐ Average
☑ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{ Price }---
☐ It's free!
☑ Worth the price
☐ If it's on sale
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☐ You could also just burn your money

---{ Bugs }---
☑ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☐ ARK: Survival Evolved
☐ The game itself is a big terrarium for bugs

---{ ? / 10 }---
☐ 1
☐ 2
☐ 3
☐ 4
☐ 5
☐ 6
☐ 7
☐ 8
☐ 9
☑ 10

Great optimization, smooth combat. Tried to follow the story but the camera had other plans. Kept showing me the same two arguments over and over. Strong ones, though.

You bought this game because you are cripplingly addicted to Souls-like games.
I bought this game because I am horny.
We are not the same.

Everyone obviously wants to play Stellar Blade because of its rich story and world building.
Certainly not for... other reasons

A game that runs and looks beautiful in 2025 good job SHIFT UP!

Stellar Blade don't jiggle jiggle; it runs so smooth and buttery that you wanna see the FPS wiggle wiggle!

There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to take a look at himself in the mirror and wonder how exactly he reached such a place.
You have to truly ponder what decisions you have made along the way that brought you to the place of your final reckoning.

There’s nothing wrong with it. I mean, Eve’s gravity defying cheeks Jiggling throughout the entire game and having more purpose than the combat pretty much makes it a perfectly stellar masterpiece after "Nier". But the moment you realize that, you start to see just how flawed you and the rest of humanity is.

What drove me to purchase such a game? What part of my soul felt so empty that I thought a virtual girl could fill it?
When I look into the boundless depths of my own loneliness I see a pool of reflection. My face isn't there, there is no face. There are only tears in that pool, tears of shame and loss and confusion.

If it were up to me again I know I would purchase it in a heartbeat, I know I would load it up and skip through the menu section just so I can have a tiny little taste of them Buns, which are readily available online for free.
Yet, despite the abundance of naked virtual women waiting in the digital sphere, I still chose to purchase this game and devote hours of my life to it. That time will never return to me, it is lost just like my soul and just like the time I fear I may never find it again.

There is something broken within me, something that desires sensation beyond my reach, something that whimpers every single night with the knowledge that there is no true Princess, it is a merely an illusion.
In my pursuit to find meaning in this long life, I sought the colorful lights and sounds of a world that only exists in a pop up window on my computer.

I am unsure what the moral of this review is, I am unsure about my place within the universe, all I know is that no amount of virtual girls can cure the vast rot that has overtaken me.

I logged in for combos,
But stayed for the bounce,
Every frame a blessing,
My will to resist? No ounce.

Waifu in leather,
Blade shining bright,
I clicked “Start Game.”
...then edged all night.

Tasteful eroticism, explicit gore and glamorous fluidic combat seamlessly infused with a beloved parry mechanic akin to Sekiro. Speaking of difficulty, an aspect obligatory to address: Just right for the more proficient to sink teeth in but not frustrating on a masochist's scale. It blends skill and thrill simultaneously alongside top-notch optimisation Day-1. A gourmet meticulously marinated for the flavor to melt away filling the taste buds with jubilation at first bite.

Defying the status-quo, free and opposed to the henious politically charged narratives throat-shoved for brownie points. Straying from single tap walk sims, distanced from unrefined casual-slops appeasing masses for the sake of greed, this here, specifically targets the more (clears throat) "adept demographic".

Unafraid to celebrate feminine beauty, not just outwardly but inwards by poetically paving way for a woman's aura to sing, exemplifying a graceful demeanor. Albeit, perfectly captured here in fiction, generally, it delivers what the male gaze through the ages was designed to respond to.

Devs with testicles so protrudingly fat that dare to release demo for a triple A title despite a conglomerate's eye - A bold testament, rightfully earning a postive reception. On-top reversing Sony's repugnant, unjusitable region lock. A heartfelt tip of a hat to "Shift-up".

(Sigh) Us, cultured folk, are dining good tonight & we'll not just clean our plates, no no, we'll be licking our fingers thoroughly for any remnants that remain.

tl;dr Those cheeks nourished. Bless. Assets wiggle naturally like refrigerated pudding. Oiled mod NG+ confirmed.