3D Ultra™ Minigolf Adventures

Activision <3

Ryan George Style Pitch Meeting:

[INT. VIDEO GAME COMPANY – DAY]

PUBLISHER GUY:
So, you have a video game for me?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Yes sir I do! It’s a fun little minigolf game called 3D Ultra™ Minigolf Adventures.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Oh wow wow wow wow. So it’s got like… minigolf? In 3D?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Exactly. It’s got balls. It’s got holes. It’s got physics. Kinda.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Kinda?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Yeah, the physics are gonna feel like they’re running on bad coffee and existential dread. Sometimes you barely tap the ball and it flies like it’s trying to escape the game entirely. Other times you smash full power and it just kinda... wiggles.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Sounds totally unpredictable and deeply unsatisfying!

DEVELOPER GUY:
That’s what we’re going for!

PUBLISHER GUY:
So how many holes are we working with here?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Thirty-six!

PUBLISHER GUY:
Oh, okay, like two 18-hole courses?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Even better: three 12-hole courses.

PUBLISHER GUY:
...Why?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Because we hate numbers and tradition.

PUBLISHER GUY:
So instead of doing the obvious, classic 18-hole setup, you split it into awkward thirds?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Yup! Golf, but with a vibe of confusion.

PUBLISHER GUY:
That’s definitely a choice.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Okay but maybe there’s DLC, right? Like new courses?

DEVELOPER GUY:
There might be! Possibly a Tiki-themed one?

PUBLISHER GUY:
Possibly?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Yeah we’re not sure if it’s included, available, unlockable, or just a mirage. It might only exist on Xbox. Or in legend.

PUBLISHER GUY:
So it’s like Bigfoot, but in Hawaiian shirts.

DEVELOPER GUY:
Exactly.

PUBLISHER GUY:
How’s the camera?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Oh, super rigid. It just chills behind you like a creepy guy at the DMV. No zooming out, no looking around.

PUBLISHER GUY:
So how do you line up tricky shots?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Trial, error, prayer, and shame.

PUBLISHER GUY:
What about power-ups? Those can be fun!

DEVELOPER GUY:
Oh for sure. Some make your ball fly. Some do nothing. One might just gaslight you emotionally. They’re mostly just there to ruin your day.

PUBLISHER GUY:
I do love being sabotaged by cartoon items!

PUBLISHER GUY:
Does it at least have cool music?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Absolutely—if you love hearing the same 30-second loop so many times that it becomes a part of your DNA.

PUBLISHER GUY:
I do love irreversible ear trauma!

PUBLISHER GUY:
How about user-created content? Can people make their own courses?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Technically, yes! But we’ll give them the most basic, soulless tools imaginable. None of the fun themes from the main game. Just bland shapes and broken dreams.

PUBLISHER GUY:
So basically a creative sandbox with no toys in it.

DEVELOPER GUY:
Exactly! Build your own sadness.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Does it support gamepads?

DEVELOPER GUY:
Not even a little. Mouse and keyboard only, baby.

PUBLISHER GUY:
So it’s minigolf with the ergonomics of tax software?

DEVELOPER GUY:
That’s our target experience!

PUBLISHER GUY:
Fair enough. So what’s the final verdict?

DEVELOPER GUY:
It’s minigolf!
In 3D!
Kinda!
Not really!
Help us.

PUBLISHER GUY:
Sounds like a disaster!

DEVELOPER GUY:
We’ll call it “adventures” so it sounds more fun than it is.

[They both nod solemnly.]

BOTH:
Super easy, barely an inconvenience.

[hr]

“GOLFING GLAD: The Ballad of Broken Clubs and Broken Spirits”:

Where disappointment is par for the course.

INT. A DISASTROUSLY BUGGY ONLINE LOBBY – NIGHT

A wildly diverse cast of criminals and champions is gathered to play 3D Ultra Minigolf Adventures. No one knows why they’re here. The lobby theme loops endlessly like a cursed lullaby.

JESSE PINKMAN (mic fuzzy):
Yo, Mr. White, why are we playing this knockoff Wii Sports again?

WALTER WHITE (dead-eyed):
Because Jesse… I need something to control… even if it’s just a ball that doesn’t obey gravity.

JINX (cackling, launching her golf ball at a wall):
WHEEEEE! I hit a gnome and it launched me into a pond! This game is chaos with a price tag!

SINGED (spinning in place):
It defies physics. It’s horrible. I approve.

BRAUM (cheerfully optimistic):
A relaxing golf game! What could go wrong?
(ball clips through the floor and vanishes)
…This game has wounded my soul.

MISS FORTUNE (grinding her teeth):
The power-up gave me reverse controls. I’m golfing like I’m legally blind and emotionally unstable.

EKKO:
I watched my ball clip through solid wood and land in the ocean. I rewound time, and it still did it. This game’s physics engine is just rolling dice and crying.

YASUO (serenely useless):
The wind was not with me.

GRAVES:
It’s an indoor jungle course, you idiot.

TARIQ (sparkling, unfazed):
This game represents our spiritual journey. The ball is our soul. The obstacles? Our trauma. The hole? Nirvana.

EZREAL:
Cool story, man. I still can’t see anything because the camera is welded to my earlobe.

JHIN (calm but terrifying):
Four strokes. That’s all it took to realize this game is a psychological experiment designed to unravel the human mind.

HEIMERDINGER (fiddling with a homemade controller):
According to my calculations, a 17-degree angle and 65% power should—
(ball pings off a cartoon skeleton and flies backwards)
Impossible. The math has forsaken me.

LUCIAN (visibly traumatized):
This game is worse than Thresh.

TAHM KENCH (belching up a golf tee):
Mmm. Tastes like regret and compression artifacts.

TWISTED FATE:
I sank a hole-in-one. Game gave me a bogey and a personal insult.

GRAVES:
I didn’t even know the ball could bounce up stairs.

WALTER WHITE (leaning in):
This game is not chemistry. It’s chaos. A mocking simulation of control.
(pause)
I hate it.
(pause)
Let’s play another round.

JESSE:
Yeah! Let’s go, Mr. White! I finally figured out how to bounce off the angry scarecrow thing!

ILLAOI (swinging a massive putter like it’s a totem):
This game tests my faith. The gods demand clarity. This offers only glitches.
(she shatters a virtual tree)
I accept this suffering.

MISS FORTUNE:
Has anyone figured out if the fourth course exists?

BRAUM:
I heard it’s called “Tiki Island,” but no one has ever seen it.

JINX:
Maybe it unlocks when the game senses hope in your heart... and kills it.

EKKO:
I spent 18 minutes on one hole. I time-warped five times. Each attempt was worse than the last.

YASUO:
That is the way of the blade.

EVERYONE:
SHUT UP, YASUO.

JHIN (whispers):
This isn’t a game. It’s a slow-motion heist of my dignity.

TARIQ:
We came for serenity… and were handed spiritual violence.

TAHM KENCH:
Best I’ve golfed since I swallowed a Scotsman in '88.

EZREAL:
Real talk though—this game feels like it was designed during a lunch break and coded on a toaster.

TWISTED FATE:
I’ve seen better hitboxes in UNO.

GRAVES:
I’ve been stuck on Hole 9 for 20 minutes. My mousepad is filing a harassment claim.

MISS FORTUNE:
Honestly? This game belongs at the bottom of the ocean. In a locked chest. Under cement.

YASUO (eyes closed, voice soft):
Life is fleeting. Golf is suffering.

BRAUM:
I came for friendship. I leave… a husk.

JINX (golfing backwards off a ramp):
Best. Game. EVER.

[A LOADING SCREEN FADES IN – “CONNECTION LOST”]

CLOSING TITLE CARD:
“GOLFING GLAD: The Ballad of Broken Clubs and Broken Spirits”
Steam Review Summary: “Mostly Unplayable, Surprisingly Emotional”
Recommended by 3% of players, all of whom are Jinx. (Just kidding)

[hr]

On greens that twist and holes that bend,
Three courses stretch, but where’s the end?
The balls take flight, then fall with flair,
As physics begs, “I’m unaware.”

A looping tune digs deep in mind,
Each power-up, a trap to find.
Yet something keeps you coming back,
For chaos, charm, and one more track.

It’s not quite good, it’s not pure pain,
A janky joy, a wild refrain.
You’ll laugh, you’ll rage, you’ll curse, you’ll cheer,
Then wonder: Why am I still here?

Please please please release 3d ultra minigolf adventures 2 and the fairy tale dlc on steam and my life is yours

Cute Game. The sound mixing is outdated and the graphics are a touch old but the game's physics still hold up really well.

**A Nostalgic and Joyful Journey Through *3D Ultra Mini Golf*: A Review**

In the crowded landscape of video games, few titles manage to leave a lasting impression as effortlessly as *3D Ultra Mini Golf* (often affectionately called 3DUM). Released in 1997 by Dynamix and Sierra On-Line, *3D Ultra Mini Golf* quickly became a beloved classic, winning the hearts of gamers for its engaging and whimsical gameplay. Combining the timeless appeal of mini-golf with creative, dynamic level design, this title remains an extraordinary gem in the world of casual gaming. Though it is a relatively simple game in terms of mechanics, its charm, humor, and delightful courses—particularly the tropical paradise course—offer an experience that has aged beautifully over the years.

This review will explore what makes *3D Ultra Mini Golf* such a standout game, why the tropical paradise course holds such a special place in the hearts of players, and how the title remains a prime example of accessible, family-friendly entertainment that resonates with players of all ages.

### **The Magical World of 3D Ultra Mini Golf**

*3D Ultra Mini Golf* presents a fantastical take on the familiar sport of mini-golf, turning it into an adventure that transcends the limits of a traditional green. The game’s vibrant world is filled with oversized obstacles, moving platforms, and cleverly designed hazards that make each hole feel like a miniature journey. Its colorful, cartoonish style is full of personality, offering an immersive experience that is both relaxing and challenging. In every hole, players encounter new and delightful surprises, ranging from whimsical creatures to outlandish environmental designs. The layout of the courses is both creative and whimsical, with each hole featuring unique obstacles, layouts, and themes that take players to different fantastical settings.

One of the most notable aspects of the game is its remarkable balance between accessibility and challenge. The physics are easy to understand, and the controls are simple enough to quickly pick up, but each hole introduces its own twist that requires the player to think strategically. Whether it’s a hidden shortcut or an obstacle that needs to be avoided, *3D Ultra Mini Golf* encourages players to experiment and fine-tune their techniques as they play. This blend of simplicity and ingenuity allows the game to appeal to a wide audience—from casual players who want to enjoy a few rounds to competitive gamers who will enjoy mastering the intricacies of the various courses.

### **The Tropical Paradise Course: A Personal Favorite**

While every course in *3D Ultra Mini Golf* is filled with its own charm and clever design, the tropical paradise course stands out as a true highlight of the game. This particular course evokes a sense of wanderlust and relaxation, transporting players to a beautiful, sun-kissed island that feels as though it’s been plucked straight from a vacation brochure. The lush greenery, pristine beaches, and crystal-clear waters create an idyllic setting, and the music accompanying the course enhances the feeling of being transported to a tropical retreat.

But the charm of the tropical paradise course goes beyond its beauty. The gameplay mechanics are just as engaging as the scenery. The course introduces clever and fun obstacles that fit seamlessly into the theme. Players must navigate their golf ball through palm trees, around tiki huts, and over sandy beaches, all while avoiding rolling waves and unpredictable geysers. The holes are designed with a mix of strategy and skill, requiring players to carefully judge distances, angles, and obstacles. However, it’s not just the challenges that make this course memorable—it’s also the playful nature of the design. You can’t help but smile when you see a sandcastle that moves to block your shot, or a flock of seagulls that flit across your path at just the wrong moment.

What makes this course particularly special is how it perfectly encapsulates the essence of *3D Ultra Mini Golf*. It takes a familiar, everyday activity—mini-golf—and transports it into an imaginative, dreamlike world. It’s the perfect blend of relaxation and challenge, offering players an experience that is as rewarding as it is entertaining. The tropical paradise course is an ideal showcase for the game’s ability to merge playful visuals with strategic gameplay.

### **The Joy of Single-Player Golfing: Relaxing, Engaging, and Fun**

While *3D Ultra Mini Golf* does offer a multiplayer mode, it’s the single-player experience that truly shines. The game’s design makes it perfect for solo play, offering a relaxed yet engaging experience where the player can take their time and enjoy the game at their own pace. The pace of the game is neither too slow nor too frantic—it’s the perfect tempo to unwind and enjoy each course. The difficulty curve is gentle enough that new players can get comfortable with the mechanics, yet challenging enough that more experienced players will find plenty to sink their teeth into.

There’s an undeniable satisfaction in carefully lining up a shot, judging the angle, and then watching the ball roll across the course. It’s a slow, almost meditative experience, and the game rewards precision and patience. The quirky obstacles and playful animations that appear throughout each hole only add to the sense of enjoyment, making the game feel like an adventure rather than a series of challenges to complete. The experience is one of casual relaxation, but it also offers moments of achievement when you finally sink that tough putt after multiple attempts.

The lack of pressure from timers or high-stakes competition means players can focus entirely on the beauty of the game’s design. Each hole in the tropical paradise course, in particular, allows the player to enjoy the moment, take in the scenery, and appreciate the clever design. The satisfaction of overcoming a tricky obstacle is as rewarding as completing the entire course itself.

### **Engaging Gameplay with a Dash of Humor**

Another aspect of *3D Ultra Mini Golf* that makes it so enjoyable is the game’s humor. The developers infused the game with a lighthearted tone that keeps the experience fun and whimsical. The humorous animations and playful designs in the tropical paradise course (and throughout the entire game) continually put a smile on your face. Whether it’s a crab that playfully scuttles across the course or a giant tiki mask that momentarily comes to life to block your ball, the comedic elements are woven into the gameplay in such a way that it never feels forced. Instead, the humor is an organic part of the experience, enhancing the enjoyment rather than distracting from it.

The charm of *3D Ultra Mini Golf* lies in its ability to appeal to a wide range of players, from younger gamers to adults seeking a fun diversion. Its tone is family-friendly without being overly cutesy, and its humor is quirky and appealing to anyone who enjoys lighthearted gaming. It’s a game that doesn’t take itself too seriously, but at the same time, it’s incredibly polished and well-crafted.

### **A Lasting Appeal: Why 3D Ultra Mini Golf Endures**

While *3D Ultra Mini Golf* may have been released nearly three decades ago, its appeal has endured due to its timeless gameplay and charm. The game doesn’t rely on cutting-edge graphics or complex mechanics to keep players engaged—it’s the simplicity, creativity, and warmth that make it so special. The tropical paradise course remains one of the standout experiences in the game, offering a serene yet challenging setting that continues to captivate players. The game’s whimsical design, delightful humor, and easy-to-learn mechanics make it a perfect pick for casual gaming, while its engaging challenges and beautifully crafted courses ensure that it remains an enjoyable experience for all kinds of players.

*3D Ultra Mini Golf* is the kind of game that proves great design doesn’t

Boring, simply put. Anyone who ever would have an interest in these types of games and stay clear from this one.

The game is fun to play with friends and trying to get all of the hole one ones are satisfying.