No Pineapple Left Behind

In No Pineapple Left Behind, an evil wizard shows up to a school and turns all of the children into pineapples. Pineapples are very simple. All they do is take tests and get grades. If they get good grades, the school makes more money. But, if left unattended, pineapples can turn back into children. (Oh no!) Children are far more complex and expensive than pineapples. You are the principal. Your job is to run the school.

Features:

• Manage the school's curriculums, students and staff without going bankrupt.
  
• Dehumanize the children, turning them into orderly pineapples. Or…
  
• Deal with the complications of human children, for potentially better grades.
  
• Address parental concerns or maybe ignore them altogether.
  
• Lump the bad students together, expel them or even lie about their grades.
  
• Maintain a small staff of top-tier teachers or a large group of burned-out, underpaid teachers.