LittleNo_ob

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22.12.2014

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DE

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In the Soviet Union it was illegal to tell jokes about Stalin, telling a joke could give you 10 years in Gulag.
Stalins secretary asks him if he has any hobbies. Stalin responds that he indeed has a hobby, he collects jokes.
The secretary asks how many jokes he has collected.
Stalins responds:
- I have collected 2 and a half workcamps full of jokes.
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Chrusjtjov visited USA in the early 60s and was extremly impressed by the American agricultural system, especielly of corn. So when he went back to Soviet Union he brought the corn with him. He started a massive campaign to switch to corn, which would according to him boost Soviet agricultural output to new heights. But it was a massive failure and there was huge bread shortages in the CCCP.
When he gets kicked out the party after the Cuban missile crisis a reporter asks him some questions...
- Chrusjtjov what will you do now when you no longer are the General Secretary?
- Oh I don´t know, he responds. The reporter continues...
- Well why don´t you start researching cancer and find a cure?
- Cancerresearch? I dont have a degree for that, Chrusjtjov responds.
- True but neither did you have a agricultural degree and yet you made all the bread disappear.
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Brezhnev started to get old and demented at his final years as General Secretary and this started to show when he hosted the Olympic games.
He had a big speech where he went on and on. All of a sudden he starts saying
O O O O O
Somebody runs up to him in horror and tells him...
- Comrade Brezhnev don´t read that! Those are the Olympic Rings...No information given.